Update: Entitled Parents Play Favorites Older Brother, Dejected Younger Finds Out Why

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    Font - Posted by u/cheezit-bit-boi 6 6 months ago 37 2 AITA for being mad at my parents that they got my older brother a car for his 18th birthday and not on mine, and then causing the whole family to be up in arms about it till they came through? Not the A-hole Ok I know the title sounds like I'm spoiled. But hear me out. My brother (20) got a car for his 18th birthday. Not a new car or anything. It was a 20 year old Lexus that was in pretty good shape. And he rubbed it in my face for the rest
  • 02
    Font - like a new car, or a sporty car. Just something reliable like my brother got. The party wasn't anything like my brother's 18th. For his 18th my mom baked the cake herself. It was a delicious layered chocolate pudding cake. I got a sheet cake from the super market. For his they got a DJ. For mine it was my dad's old boombox with a couple of mix CDs. We went through whole party, and I figured my parents might have just been waiting to spring a surprise gift on me. But that didn't happen.
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    Font - I asked them as things were wrapping up why there was no car when my brother got one. And they said that they felt like he'd worked harder for it. I asked what he did that I didn't do. Because I did all of that and more. My grandma was nearby and heard everything. And then she asked them why as well. She ended up lecturing my parents that she was very very very disappointed in them for showing favoritism. Then she proceeded to announce to everyone still there that my parents thought it fi
  • 04
    Font - I got a few I'm sorry calls from relatives. And my grandparents convinced me to go out with them for the evening. But when I got back my parents were pissed, and told me I'd shamed them to the whole family. I just walked past them because I didn't want to fight. The next few weeks went by with the silent treatment between us. But then a few days ago, my parents suddenly surprised me with a white 98 Subaru Legacy that runs great. They practically threw the keys and the title in an envelope
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    Font - Edit: I would like to clarify a few things. My parents make pretty good money. And also don't go out of their way to live lavishly by choice. They've always been moderate in everything they buy or do. Though if anything is stretching their finances, it's my brother's college tuition. He got a partial scholarship and my parents are paying the rest. I don't and never intended to ask for the same treatment on that. I want to work and pay my own student loans. Now that I have the car, I'm alr
  • 06
    Font - I also did try to talk about a car with my parents a few times last year. But they always dodged the conversations about the topic. I figured if I talked about it too much, it'd ruin it. And so I stopped. I would have felt like a brat to keep talking about getting an imaginary car. So I learned to just stay silent and hope. I can't go stay with my grandparents because they live in a one bedroom condo. There isn't enough room for other people. After all their kids grew up, my grandparents
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    Font - As for my brother's 18th birthday party, it was held in 2020 during basically the height of the pandemic. Honestly we shouldn't have had a big party like that at the time. But my parents insisted. As for my brother himself, he barely speaks to me, even before he left for college. He didn't show up for my 18th birthday party. And I figured that's just because he's busy with college, and he's not even in the same state as us anymore. Honestly I haven't seen or heard from him since Christmas
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    Font - Edit 2: There was one more thing I forgot to say. I was really hoping to get the car because I literally couldn't get a part time job without one. We don't live in the city. And we're ten miles from the nearest public bus stop. I've always had to get rides to go anywhere. Now that I have the Subaru, I intend to look for a part time after school job as soon as I can. Edit 3: Since it came up in so many messages. I want to clarify that when I went to talk to my parents after the party, it w
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    Font - Educational Cup9850 6 mo. ago NTA, OP, and perhaps its time for you to consider that when you leave, you go on reduced contact with both your parents, and your brother. Your parents have made it clear they loathe you and are pretty close to hating you. They hate the fact that they lost face rather than the fact that they were forced to face the fact they treated you unfairly. I very much doubt they'll forgive you as by your own statements, they barely you see as their son anymore. They've
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    Font - Bubz-411 6 mo. ago NTA, and it's sad how salty your parents are after being called out on their favoritism. They had to be shamed into getting their second son a car as they did with the first. That's a shame on them Vote Reply Share
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    Font - Super_Ad_7135 6 mo. ago edited 5 mo. ago . NTA, parents treating siblings different is TAH move. Parents create friction in the home. Seems they have done this for some time if your brother is allowed to brag/boast unchecked. They deserved what they got so just work on leaving home ASAP, then go LC. Keep grades up, go to college/Uni, get a great job and don't look back. NTA Vote Reply Share
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    Font - Posted by u/cheezit-bit-boi 10 hours ago 3 Update to my parents getting my brother a car on his 18th birthday and not mine XL Since I couldn't update in r/AITA, I came here to do it. This is my original post Link I've not logged onto this account in roughly five months. So now I can tell you all the rest of what happened before college starts. But before that, there's some things I wanna get out of the way from previous commenters and messagers. I literally needed a car because there was
  • 13
    Font - crammed full when I logged back on that it took some time to go through it all. It doesn't really matter anyway though. I did get a part time job that later went full time for the summer after I graduated. But three weeks into working part time, the Subaru blew the head gasket while on the highway at like 45 miles an hour. The temp gauge redlined and I had to pull over and call for help. My grandparents took a look at the car and found that someone had ran a lot of gasket sealer in it, an
  • 14
    Font - It was two hours before I was called back into the living room. My parents were on the couch and both looked like they'd both been metaphorically hit by a truck. My uncle and two other relatives were there now too. My grandparents had gotten it out of them that when they bought the car, they just looked for the cheapest thing they could find close in the area that still ran, and bought it no questions asked. They didn't even bother to inspect the car, let alone properly read the ad for it
  • 15
    Font - out that what happens next I had no involvement with. My grandparents just told me to chill for a while and let them and my parents take care of this. And they did. A few days later they came back with a 1999 Honda Civic Hatchback with 180.000 miles on it. It was white like my Subaru was, and drives great. It's not all wheel drive like the Subaru was. But it's great on the road and gets better gas mileage. There was also a list of all recent repairs done to the car. Things like a new radi
  • 16
    Font - That's only one half of what happened though. You see, when I said I did better in school than my brother, I wasn't kidding. My brother got a 30% scholarship after he finished high school. Well I got a 50% one. Not at the same college of course. But at one comparably good that was also closer. To say my parents were shocked is an understatement. Of course they just both looked unhappy as soon as the shock wore off. I decided it wouldn't be a good idea to poke the bear by asking them about
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    Font - managed to say they want me to take the world by storm when I go to college. And even said they'll help pay some of my tuition as well, just like they are for my brother. My grandparents both sharply said that they better keep their word, because there should never have been any favoritism, period. I thanked my parents for their help. Got a light if not limp handshake from my father, and a very stiff hug from my mother. It all felt so forced. I was and still am extremely thankful for the
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    Font - I ended up asking if my grandparents knew what it was that made my parents act this way. I asked if I was an accidental pregnancy or something. And they gave me the "Its time we told you" look. Well I'm not adopted like so many asked, but I was unplanned. Sort of.... You see, my parents wanted both a girl and a boy. But got two boys instead. My brother came out as a boy, so my parents were really hoping to get a girl on the next go. And they had a prior agreement to stop after two kids. T
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    Font - Since then my parents hadn't spoken to me much about college. In fact they ignore the subject as much as they can. And thanks to some of the warnings I got from people who messaged me making me paranoid, I called the college I've been accepted to and made sure to tell them that if anyone calls or emails pretending to be me, or my parents call trying to say I'm not coming, then to call me for a double or even triple check if anything like that happens. I mean, I kind of doubt my parents wo
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    Font - My grandparents and the rest of the family held a surprise party for me over the weekend. And they made it almost like a repeat of my brother's 18th birthday. There was a DJ, and a big chocolate cake my grandma made. I couldn't thank them all enough. My parents attended the party. But they were like wallflowers the entire time. They didn't say or do much. Just stayed sitting at a far table in the corner and drank beer quietly. The look of defeat they had was even greater now. I think the
  • 21
    Font - As for my personal life. My part time job went to full time after high school, and I've been working hard to build my savings before I leave for college. I made minimum wage, but a job is a job. And I wanna leave it with my best effort put in before my two weeks notice are up. I doubt I'm gonna be coming back here to make another update. And after my first post I'm just so tired of all the negative comments. About 95% of the comments on my original post were positive. And I wanna thank al
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    Font - Andante79 10 hr. ago This is a bittersweet update. I'm so glad your family is rallying around you- this is how you deserve to be treated. You've achieved so much and you should be celebrated! Your parents.... well, they have to deal with their own shit. I hope they think long and hard about how terrible they've been. I hope your college experience is amazing! Reply Share 849 cheezit-bit-boi OP 10 hr. ago Bittersweet is an apt description of how it panned out. But I'm glad the rest of my f
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    Font - AmIarealbunny. 9 hr. ago Grandma is a badass!!! And so is the rest of your family. So glad that you have their support. Congratulations to you. 182 Reply Share remainoftheday · 6 hr. ago grandma finally had a chance to do to these people what she had watched them do when OP was growing up and could do little about. wtg grandma Reply Share 25
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    Font - depressedhun. 10 hr. ago OP your grandma is a baddy. Make her proud and all the best for your future Reply Share 120
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    Font - halfwaygonetoo. 8 hr. ago I have to tell you: I don't understand your parents. You're a bright, wonderful, intelligent young man. You seem to have a great heart and a good head on your shoulders. Your parents missed out on everything by not accepting the gift that they were given. Go take your world by storm and enjoy life. Blessed be 92 Reply Share cheezit-bit-boi OP. 8 hr. ago I don't understand them either. But my grandparents said that they think my parents just never mentally connect
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    Font - Zombtistic 7 hr. ago Holy crap, wholesome healthy extended family have a kid's back from their shitty parents, it's nice to see for once. Reply Share 4.7k Red Velvet Cake425 . 6 hr. ago Yeah, I was expecting half of OOP's extended family to be siding with the parents and harassing a high schooler/college student. My faith in humanity has been restored for once. 1.2k Reply Share canadiangig 4 hr. ago What made me foam was the parents buying an unsafe car and just handing out, like, I don't
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    Font - PenguinZombie321 - 7 hr. ago Am I the drama? Parents wanted one boy and one girl. They're gonna end up with zero kids once OOP graduates college. Congratulations, you played yourselves. 5.7k Reply Share
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    Font - saltyvet10 7 hr. ago Agreed. In 10 years they are going to wonder why their sons never call and they don't know who their grandkids are. Gender disappointment honestly baffles me. My father ended up with two daughters and I cannot think of a single glance, look, thought, or expression to ever indicate he was disappointed that he didn't have a son. I asked him once in middle school if he'd wanted a son and he told me he couldn't imagine anything better than the two daughters he had. He rea
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    Font - L SquirrelGirlVA 7 hr. ago please sir, can I have some more? Those parents are going to be in for a rough time when the repercussions of all of this REALLY hits them. It's going to happen soon with the brother, but especially if either has kids and neither brother is particularly inclined to bend over backwards for them. It's also going to hit them once they retire and realize that neither kid wants to deal with them. That the brother is starting to get rid of the toxic attitude says a lo

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